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Now That They Are Grown: Successfully Parenting Your Adult Children
We don’t stop being parents when our kids are grown… but some things do change. There are new boundaries, different ways of connecting, but with just as much love. As our sons and daughters move into young adulthood, our role of what is means to be loving parents changes dramatically.

We don’t let go of them; we let go of the responsibility of their lives. We don’t step out of their lives; we step out of their way.

This book aims to help readers miss as many pitfalls as possible in making the transition from parenting children to being parents of young adults. Here you will find ways to nurture your adult children while encouraging their independence and maturity. We look for the balance. How do we best respond to them in times they struggle? Again, we are looking for the balance. What is supportive, yet not intrusive? What is caring, yet not enabling dependency?

The questions are important. The answers are not obvious. It is a new day in our relationships with our children. The page has been turned, and we are now writing a chapter in the life of our families. It is important that we get it right.
I always think of a mobile as the perfect metaphor for a family, a mobile with its delicate pieces hanging in balance from the thinnest lines of filament. Any significant change in the family – a birth or death, a marriage or divorce – and a piece is added or suddenly taken away. Our mobile sways from the sudden shift. It sways as we move from relating with them as children to connecting with them as young adults. It sways as our relationship is in transition, is being redefined. It is a time of uncertainty and some anxiety, for we don’t know what this important relationship will look like when our mobile has achieved its new balance.
We live in the present. We look back to savor the memories, learn from the past, or work through any unfinished emotional business, but we live in the present moment. We believe that relationships with those whom we love will endure. They will endure change. They will endure the swinging of our familial mobile. We come out on the far side of these changes as somewhat new families with redefined relationships. We haven’t tried to hang on to what used to be. We embrace what is. We are transformed. And it is good.
Ron Greer
From Now That They Are Grown

In Now That They Are Grown, Ron Greer offers pragmatic solutions to help parents let go of their adult children, creating the necessary dis-connection; then he offers specific goals in guiding parents to re-connect in a mutually respectful way as adults to adults. In reading this book, as a parent of two adult children, I learned the answers to three important questions: “How are we supportive, yet not intrusive? How are we available, yet not pushy? And how are we caring, yet not enabling dependency?” Dr. Greer does as excellent job of communicating the difference between caring for our adult children without taking care of them. The case studies were particularly helpful.

Michael L Chafin, M. Div., M. Ed., L.M.F.T.
The Brookwood Center for Psychotherapy

A prominent college coach was recently asked if players had changed in the last few years. His answer would not have surprised Ron Greer. “Naw,” he emphatically stated in his southern twang. “The kids are the same. They just want to play. But the parents have lost their minds!” Ron may not be quite that critical, but he knows most of us need help in dealing with our adult children when they are busy flying the coop. He has written a wonderful guide for parents who have maintained their sanity, but simply do not know what to do. Enjoy Ron’s stories, but mostly take note of his wisdom. I know it will change your life, it may change your children’s lives, and it might even help the grandchildren!

Bill Curry
NFL player, coach, and author


I have looked forward to Ron Greer’s latest offering with great anticipation, and now that Now That They Are Grow exceeds all of my expectations. Ron is a wise and helpful guide for parents looking for mature, healthy relationship with their adult children. His writing comes across as a long-trusted friend who is passing along valuable wisdom gleaned from years of experience gained while walking this road with others. Ron’s words not only educate, but they also encourage parents that they can do this! Now That They Are Grown is a job well done!

Bill Britt
Senior Minister
Peachtree Road United Methodist Church


Ron has shared (his) wisdom in Now That They Are Grown: Successfully Parenting Your Adult Children. This is an easy read; chocked full of wisdom; and is sensitively, caringly, creatively composed. This pastoral counselor knows the dynamics of parenting adult children in this contemporary context. He advocates mutual respect and magnanimous good will between the generations in both “letting them go” and in “negotiating a new adult to adult relationship.

Dr. Jap Keith
Southeast Regional Director
Association for Clinical Pastoral Education, Inc.